Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I'm Back!

Wow, what a rollercoaster the past two months have been. I am home. I'm touched by all your comments and all the healing thoughts and love coming my way! I got out of our local hospital in Potsdam two weeks ago after spending a week there for an abscess that they apparently missed during the last trip to Sloan Kettering when they were obsessing over my bowels (which are fine, thank you). I kept wondering why I was feeling poorly and had in fact been doing less and less instead of more! Finally Gary came down to my Mom's and took me home where I stayed for a couple of days, realized I had a temp again and went to the emergency room. They operated that day and finally I am feeling better though a little freaked out by the hole in my surgical scar that has to heal from the inside out. Hmmmm...amazing what you can get used to.

Food is still an issue, in that I don't want any. Living on potato, noodles, mac and cheese, an egg once in a while (though I shared my egg this morning with the dog). I do get hungry once in a while but still don't want to eat. It's so weird--nothing tastes the same. So while I like being lighter it's a little freaky to not want to eat. I'm a work in progress!!

I have not been feeling very creative lately but hopefully that will come back and I can reopen my Etsy shop. Noah says that he will help me do mailings...actually Noah has been just a wonderful help over the last two months...I'm so happy he took this year off between HS and college! He has also been driving me whereever I need to go when Gary is at work!

Soooooo. I'm resting, trying to eat, looking at looms full of scarves and material that have been sitting there since I got sick. I'm grateful for my family and friends and all the support I have gotten. I start chemo on April 1, once a week for three weeks out of four, for 6 months.

AND my Adam is marrying his Alicia on September 5th!!!!! Right now they are in Hawaii but will come back for the wedding. We are so excited and I love Alicia! YAY! So something very special to look forward to!!!

Hope everyone is healthy and happy!!!!!!!


  1. Oh Cait... it is sooo good to see you back again. What a year you have had so far... but hopefully things from now on will improve. It sounds like your spirits are good... at least today! And I too am glad that your Noah has been around for the past few months. In that sense, things have a way of being the way they need to be. Who would've known that his taking the year off (and not finishing his hiking/traveling trip) would be exactly what needed to be?

    Life is so full of surprises and changes, and we just have to learn to roll with them. But I am so glad your condition was caught so early on, and even though the past few months have been difficult for you, you are here for your family, and for your online family too, and for that I know so many people are extremely grateful.

    So here's to new life, future creativity, more horseback riding, and wonderful family times... including an upcoming wedding! YAY!

    Sending you peace, strength, love, and hugs!

    PS... the food thing? Enjoy "the incredible lightness of being" for now. Once your body gets healed and feeling better, I'm guessing your taste for food will come back. But having surgery is definitely not the best way to lose weight!

  2. I am sooooo glad to see your post and to know you are doing better!

  3. Glad to hear you're home! Can I send you a tiny inkle loom so you can weaver some tiny projects?

  4. Wpp Hoo! So good to see you back on this blog!! Yay! Almost can't say more, I am thrilled!! lots of love and good wishes for being a work in progress..a creative act in itself, no?!!!

  5. Thrilled to see you back abloggin'!! Take care...

  6. cait-- i can't tell you how wonderful it is to read your words and hear from you first hand how you are ( not that gary didn't do a great job!)

    you've been through a great deal cait-- and like laura you still have a bit of a journey..but i have no doubt that you have the fighting spirit it takes to get through all of this and i send you my love. i missed you and am so glad to see you back at it. the scarves and your loom are waiting... for when you're good and ready. in the meantime take it easy and one day at a time. all the best---lots of love!! kathi

  7. I was thrilled to see your new posting. I'm glad you are home. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Congrats on the wedding news!! Take extra good care of yourself.

  8. cait, your words sound like you are smiling. so nice you are posting, and we all appreciate that your husband kept us up to date. you'll be hungry again, you'll be weaving soon.

    it's nice to hear from you!

  9. Yay! So glad to see you back!

    It sounds like you have wonderful helpers who are taking great care of you :)

    How exciting to be preparing for a wedding later this year!

    Rest up and know that I'm thinking of you...

    Lots of love xxxx

  10. Oh my gosh, we were very worried - just SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU! Sounds like a bumpy ride- i never had a hole like that in my stomach- but i've heard about that. Try not to look. I just had another surgery last week and will probably start my maintenence chemo right around the same time as you! I just posted a pic of my stomach tonight on my blog if you want to see....... Then you can take a pic of yours!!! We can compare......LOL!
    You just hang in there, ok.... and your family, too- happy you have your son to help! talk soon, laura (oh, i'm never eating much after surgerys. I've lost about 15 pounds..not that i'm complaining........)

  11. Hi Cait,
    How wonderful to hear from you and that you are back in Potsdam. You sound upbeat and oh so happy to be home. What a journey you have had. It was so good of Gary to keep us posted. But hearing from you is just what we all needed. Wishes for fast healing. Some of my appetite is headed your way so that you can enjoy eating again. Thinking of you. Mary and Jochen

  12. good to see you back, cait! looking forward to hearing more from you in the coming weeks. keeping you in my thoughts :)


  13. Welcome back! So glad you are feeling well enough to get in touch with your blog friends. It's great to hear from you. Best wishes for rapid healing.

  14. glad to see you here - sending hugs and hopes for your continued healing - you are in my thoughts,
    karon xo

  15. Dear Cait! I'm glad you are doing, better. The desire for eating food will come as time goes on. I went through the same thing when I suffered from Crohn's; I was 1 1.2 years coming back from that. Accept the precious things that you have and the rest will come in place as time goes on. Take care, Maggie Newman

  16. Hi Cait,
    I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and hope and pray you have a quick recovery. I miss seeing your beautiful work and also miss sharing our common addiction "the treasuries" :) Sending you big hugs and lots of love, Monica

  17. cait,
    hannah told me you'd been by, and then i see you're back "here". sending you a hug and love as you go through this next step of healing. remember horse therapy as you heal.

  18. Cait, I am so glad you're feeling a little better and things are looking up. :-) I am sure your appetite for food and creative things will come back when you feel up to it. Sometimes our bodies just tell us to slow down and take it easy. Lots of hugs and I am glad you're back. Sybille xo

  19. Hey, Cait! So very glad you're back home and at least looking at your loom and thinking of reopening your shop. You'll get there. And hey, macaroni & cheese is such wonderful comfort food, and eggs are loaded with protein! :) Hugs to you and your family.

  20. Yeah!!!! Your back!!!! I've missed you so. I'm so glad you are back home and starting to feel better. I was so worried about you for awhile there. Take one day at a time and keep getting better,
    Xanna :)

  21. You crossed my mind today, Cait, so thought I would check in and see how you are. Fabulous news that you are home and feeling so much better. Oh, and congratulations to the bride and groom-to-be!!

    The Blue Ridge Gal