Barefootweaver

Dyeing rinsed, dried, and rewound!

2012-01-30T09:33:00.000-08:00

This might be my favorite part. From my umbrella swift...

to my ball winder...

all the lovely threads ready to use...

Now I'm off to dye more...two more days of it.

Dyeing Day!

2012-01-27T12:34:00.000-08:00

Such a productive day! Made skeins out of lovely yarns from Henry's Attic. They sell naturals to the trade for dyeing. Lovely rayon/cotton blends with seeds, lovely rayon/cotton ribbons, yarns with twists and bumps. I am smitten with all of it. And dyes from Dharma.

Then every skein has to be rolled up in saran wrap and left for 24 hours to "cook." Then rinsed, rinsed, rinsed...

and finally hanging on the line on the porch because it is actually raining out...weird winter.

Rainbow Mist II

2012-01-25T06:51:00.000-08:00

Ahhh...another Rainbow Mist. This time with no wool. Without wool it turns out just a little brighter, a little bit more shimmer, a little dressier. I don't actually have one completely woven but maybe today! Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy the pictures!

On the warping mill

Threading

Sleying

Weaving

Tomorrow is a dyeing day with a friend...I'll have to remember to take some pictures!

Nancy's Scarf #2 (maybe...)

2012-01-19T11:41:00.000-08:00

Scarf number 2 for my customer, Nancy...So I pulled some yarns...no wool, she is allergic...and she wants primary colors...mostly blue and red with some green and yellow.

So I made a warp, transferred it to the loom, threaded it, sleyed the reed, tied it on and was ready to weave. Then off to my Mom's for a couple of days. When I got back I had a note from Nancy to please make this one less textured. Hmmmmm...

Soooooo I dropped some yarns off the back and added some ribbon yarns which were flat. But there is a limit to how many I can do that way...

And I'm not at all sure it made too much difference and it is going to be hard for her to tell without actually touching the scarf. Here it is finished. I like it and will sell it anyway so I can always begin another for her.

I should know better but I was excited to try these colors...always an adventure!

Winter Walk

2012-01-11T12:59:00.000-08:00

Went for my walk the other day...looking back at the house and barn from our partially finished new road...

Our pond...

Horse paths...

Got a little ride in a sled pulled by my woodsman.

And back around to see what my two offspring have accomplished!

Now I'm off to see my Mom in NH and won't be back till Tuesday but I hope to blog from there if I can pick up any stray signals!

Nancy's Scarf...finished!

2012-01-09T16:03:00.000-08:00

Taking the warp off the warping board and chaining it up so it doesn't tangle.

A lovely pile of warp on the floor...

Winding the warp onto the back beam (beaming) to ready it for threading.

Threading through the heddles...

No picture of sleying the reed but here it is ready to tie.

Ahhhh...weaving.

All three scarves woven, washed, ironed, labeled and ready for me to tie tiny knots in the fringe so that the yarns don't unravel and get messy.

Now to email Nancy and put one on Etsy!

Noah's 21st Birthday!

2012-01-09T09:55:00.000-08:00

OK here I am playing Little Susie Homemaker...birthday cake time. Cake looks nice, doesn't it...just whipping up a little frosting...

This is not the first cake. I made a cake (both from scratch) starting at 7:30 AM even before I had coffee because I had so much to do that day.

This is the first cake. I beat it (though I swear I timed it TWO MINUTES) and filled the pans. Put it in the oven, set the timer, and got online to check email. After a while I smelled it cooking. OK if I knew how to cross out I would have crossed out cooking and put in burning. This fire is not my first. The cake rises, overflows, and starts a fire on the bottom of my oven. So I put out the fire, scraped out the burning mass and hoped for the best. Which obviously did not happen. The cake deflated (DUH, the oven door was open for a while) and I had to scrape that out of the pans. And start over. I had coffee first. This time I filled the pans and poured some of the batter down the sink (it was extra).

And this is not the first time...I seem to have a mental block about cakes. But we got candles on it and celebrated and Noah went to the obligatory liquor store and bought a six-pack.

Oh and we had a lovely guest, Sofia, up from her home in Manhattan. She stayed for a few days. I love it when the house is full. Noah brought her to Plattsburg and she took the train home.

Alex being cute...

Time goes by so swiftly...Really...do they look old enough to drink?????

Alex and Noah

Noah in a quiet moment...

My little guys.

Nancy's Scarf...

2012-01-05T07:02:00.001-08:00

I have a commission for a few scarves designed by my customer and me...this one will be pinks and purple with hits of teal and black. The first thing I do is pull anything I think will work. Anything with any of these colors goes into the pile and I will cull as I design the warp.

Then I start winding on the warping board. A couple of threads of this color, a couple of threads of that color and I build the scarf warp. Here it is about 1 inch wide and three scarves long.

Starting to add more purple...about 3" wide now.

Loving the texture...needs a little more pink...

Adding a bit more pink and now it is 5 inches wide, still 3 scarves long and I'm finished. The scarf will actually be about 4 1/2" wide when it is woven because as I weave it comes in on the edges and then washing will shrink it a bit more.

I hope everyone's Christmas and New Year was wonderful. Today is Noah's 21st birthday and I'm off to make a cake! Stay warm. Be happy.

Barn Progress!

2011-12-27T16:11:00.000-08:00

We've had help for the last two days! YAY!! A good friend, Ryan, came over and worked for hours with Gary and Noah starting the roof!

Here's the first panel going up.

And today Noah brought two friends over (Colin and Isaiah) and with Alex cutting rafters I can't believe how much they accomplished until rain drove them in.

Colin surveying the land...

The view looking up at the house and barn when I went to gather the horses.

Snow tonight so I don't know how much the boys can get done. And if it is windy they can't work up there with those enormous panels. Hope everyone is having a wonderful, peaceful week!

Goodbye to a Dear Friend

2011-12-27T15:49:00.000-08:00

Some of you might remember that I had a small group (two other women) who had pancreatic cancer. One of them, our sweet Cindy, died in late August. The other amazing woman, Chris, I met in NYC at Memorial Sloan Kettering where we were having the same surgery with the same doctor at the same time--January 2010. What are the odds??! She was stage 3 and had some lesions in her lungs and some lymph node involvement. I was stage 2 with no lymph involvement. We became fast friends. She was organized, I am not. She was a hiker and a kayaker, I am a slug. She was an amazing researcher and where I get distracted she persevered. Always sending me emails about this or that "cure" to try. At one point I remember we were talking on the phone and both of us were sort of jumping around because it stimulated the lymph system to remove poisons. We talked about chemo, bowels, eating, pain, medication, exercise, food, wine, family, housekeeping, end of life, money, fear. We compared scars and diet and survival stories. We kept positive. Though when Cindy was dying we sat with her and clung to each other. Meanwhile I got fatter and Chris kept losing weight. We held a vigil around her house last week, each holding candles, singing songs, someone played the recorder. She was still conscious. I took a picture of us the week before that not knowing that it would be the last time I saw her. Her liver gave out and she died Christmas Eve morning. Still a shock even though I knew she was dying.

Rest in peace, my pancreatic sister and friend.

xo

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

2011-12-25T06:01:00.000-08:00

Alex and I went up to the woods to cut a tree...I came back and took a nap. This is what I saw when I woke up. Alex is such a sweetie!

Noah came home and the two of them worked on the barn though it was really cold...

I made pies. Dom and Duke feasted on peelings and cores.

My guys with their very old stockings.

And look! Santa left the boys teddys from NYC! Just what they always wanted! ;)

A Merry Christmas to all of you!

Rainbow Mist...

2011-12-14T09:15:00.001-08:00

Weaving up to the last minute here...don't know whether I will get any more scarves designed and woven before Christmas but one of these is done, photographed, and loaded on Etsy! Two more to weave...

Lots of color here! Warm and wide, too...almost 6". So nice and soft for that shot of color by your face. I'm happy with it!
xo

New York City!!!

2011-12-11T05:48:00.000-08:00

Just got back from a 4 day stay in NYC! It was amazing. Even though I grew up near the city I don't remember ever going in to see the windows at Christmas. I loved it! Shopping is hard for Gary so we didn't really do much...just looked. But we did do a dinner cruise and we had fantastic food and we walked and walked and we had a wonderful room in the Westin Hotel off Times Square. AND it was all on Edward Jones (the investment company Gary works for!)!!! The best thing was that I wasn't there for any medical reason and we didn't stop by to see my surgeon which we did the last time I was there.

Two windows at Tiffany's...LOVE the Zebra!!

Hmmmm...wouldn't I love to have one of those little blue boxes...

Sax Fifth Avenue...a real horse theme in several stores!

I didn't really care about the clothes but the horses! Sigh...

OK, you have to put up with me. I'm just crazy for horses!

Rockefeller Center...

The Dinner Cruise! This is something that I never would get Gary to do if it wasn't part of the deal...we had an MC who was doing the bad wedding thing...and wait staff who would burst into song (one of them could actually sing...the others...well...) and dance. But great food and all the wine you could drink!

We actually cruised under the Brooklyn Bridge and around the Statue of Liberty but the statue was shrouded in fog and we couldn't even see her!

Some of the skyline from the boat.

And the view from our window at the Westin!

Today, December 11, is my two year anniversary from diagnosis. Two years since they told me I had pancreatic cancer. Living is sweet and I want to keep doing it. We have a bottle of champagne for tonight! and we're toasting life here!!

Autumn Glow Scarf...

2011-12-03T13:43:00.000-08:00

Another scarf...Autumn Glow...is already in my shop. I've just been too busy to post. But I love this warp and I'm still weaving the last one of 3 off the loom...

Well, it's been so busy I haven't had time to blog at all...First Thanksgiving, Noah got a ride home, we went to a friend's house for dinner, Alex stayed long enough to eat but went to Walmart for Black Friday (??) shopping. We had music, we ate, we played pictionary...

Gary on guitar, Mark on bongo, Noah fiddling...

I drove Noah back to school on Sunday and decided that since the weather was so amazing I would drive over to Keene, NH to see my Mom. I could only stay a day. She is getting so forgetful. Like asking me over and over what day it was. Like getting into the car to drive to the eye doctor but thinking she is in White Plains, NY. sigh...But it was wonderful to see her and to see a couple of my sisters who live nearby.

I was going to clean up and decorate for the holidays but my good friend and pancreatic sister, Chris, is not doing well. We met in NYC at Sloan Kettering Memorial Hospital having the Whipple at the same time with the same doctor almost two years ago and bonded completely. She lives in the next little town from here. I just came back from visiting her...she is two years younger than me, her liver is failing and she is so thin. I wish for a miracle. A Christmas miracle...

xo

Music Weekend with Noah and Friends

2011-11-17T12:38:00.001-08:00

Ok, it's been a while...but my computer is acting up and doesn't always want to load videos...ANYWAY, Noah came home last weekend bringing 3 musical friends and we played music all weekend! WooHoo! It was amazing and I took videos, honestly, but I took them on a camera he brought from school and they are too dense to load. hmmmm...or maybe I'm too dense?? In any case, I can't load them so you are going to have to hum to yourself. They did play "Sinner Man" which you can also hear if you go to facebook https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Jake-and-Noah/116112751830280 We had such an amazing time. We had Jake on guitar, Joe on fiddle, Noah on violin, and the lovely Sofia as a beautiful audience member (though she also plays instruments). Noah's HS friend Isaiah came over to help with the barn and Alex came home and brought his Victoria to play board games after the music. And we had some good friends stop by with guitar and bowrain and bongos!

Sofia

Jake

Joe (I think Duke is asleep)

Oh yeah, they all rode Duke who wandered aimlessly around the outdoor arena. Did I mention that they had never been on a horse before? And they helped carry big heavy 2 x 10s up to the second floor of the new barn!

Sofia and Jake preparing to cut

Joe and Jake handing up the 2 x 10s to Noah

We're making progress!!

Training Week!

2011-11-04T11:19:00.000-07:00

Off to my trainers for a week...both Dom and Duke. Though I will only be training with Dommie. Loading went very easily this morning especially considering they only load twice a year! Dommie always has to think about it but Duke just walked on. Not bad.

Over to Nancey's with Linda to help.

Such cute butts!! Ohhhh...I just reread this...not THEIR butts, the HORSE'S butts.

They are happy and full of beans here. And there are other horses including a mare they both love!

Already settled in except for some squealing between Dommie and Nancey's older horse, Rocket.

After they ran around, we all saddled up. Linda on Duke, me on Dom and Nancey on her mare. Wonderful day. And I'm feeling more energized after riding than I usually do!

Lesson tomorrow!

October Morning Scarf...

2011-10-28T16:39:00.000-07:00

YAY! I got one of these off the loom, washed, ironed, photographed and loaded onto Etsy! A good day...though the whole day I kept thinking I should be riding cause the sun was out. But this tiredness is hard to overcome some days...And the Dr. said just eat right and exercise and your immune system will kick in. Hmmm...having a hard time forcing myself outside.

I was so in love with this scarf that I took pictures before washing which I never do. I love the yarns that make up the fringe!

I even like it crumpled up.

Washed, ironed and in the sun!

Thank you Velma for the inspiration!

Barn work this weekend. Maybe a ride (ok I will, I will!). Lunch with some former triangle weaving students who are driving 1 1/2 hours to see me! I'm honored!

A Walk in the Woods

2011-10-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

Gary and I walked to the pond yesterday to get kindling...we take big feed bags and fill them with little branches and store them in the barn for the wood stove. Mieux went with us though she really likes to be carried and complains all the way! Here she is blissed out on Gary's jacket!

filling up the bag...

my horse trail through the woods...

down to the mucky pond. The beavers (which are gone now) plugged up the outlet pipe and now the pond is not flowing and has risen quite a bit. So we are cutting a channel and lowering it until we can actually find the pipe. Then somehow we will have to ream it out since it is filled with mud. At least living here we will never run out of things to do!!!!

wouldn't want to go swimming here... I've seen lots of snapping turtles. We also have a blue heron who likes to visit as well as a piliated woodpecker, coyotes, occasional ducks (though I think the turtles get them), deer, turkeys and lots of smaller animals.

on the way back the last daisy!

Have a lovely week!

Posts are in!!!

2011-10-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

Posts are done...level, straight and mostly in the right place!

Father and son working together.

Alex, taking a banana bread break with Mieux.

One more row to set!

Finished last night just before dark!

And the sun came out this morning! And Dommie and I had a good ride! Life is good!

More Scarves...

2011-10-20T10:37:00.001-07:00

Newest warp...this scarf was inspired by Velma (an incredible artist) and her morning pictures. There was such a delicacy of color there and soon this warp will be a scarf "October Morning." Full of wondrous texture and subtle (for me!) color--I can't wait to weave this one!

Warp on the warping mill before being transferred to the loom.

And my newest finished scarf "Intrigue." Not so subtle! Love the drama!

and the yummy fringe!

I've been trying to pace myself lately because of fatigue. I have a little pancreatic cancer group here and since we lost two I've been tired. And unfortunately we have two more...one a dad of a friend and the other I haven't met yet. So I'm off for a nap on this rainy day and I'll weave more tomorrow.

Weaving, weaving, weaving...

2011-10-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

Took a break from the barn building because Gary is tired and designed two warps, put one on and wove one scarf from the first one...made enough warp for three scarves from each warp, no cuffs this time because I'm falling behind in my sewing the cuffs and still have a bunch to make...

Sunshine and Shimmer III

And another warp...no name yet but very dramatic!

I love my warps!

Barn Henge and Weekend Guests...

2011-10-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

Barn Henge...Thank you, Harold, for dragging and dropping the poles into the holes with your bobcat!

Dick came to do Duke and Dom's feet...

Fabulous weekend...Noah came home...my sister Meg and her partner, Darlene, brought my Mom up for a short visit from NH...Alex actually stayed home...

We worked on the barn, we wove a towel, AND we rode the horses. Meg had never been on a horse and was a little afraid of them but Duke won her over and we actually got her to ride. Darlene rode with me after out to the field. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of us riding...

Here's my Mom weaving!!!! I think she had fun!

Alex, Noah, and friend Isaiah setting posts with Meg's help...

Gary and Alex putting up the first board (loft height) on the barn...Unfortunately all our company is gone now and we are on our own to finish plus whatever help Alex can give between school and work...I better get some rest!!

Barn update...

2011-10-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

Harold (builder extraordinaire) with his bobcat drilling holes for our pole barn!

24 holes...

4 1/2 feet deep...

Harold is letting Gary use his machine! Too bad that shortly after this it started pouring and hasn't really stopped...

Tomorrow poles are being delivered and Harold will come back and help us set them. YAY progress!

Daily wrestling match...Magic (Adam's 4 yo kitty) and Ballou (10?). Usually Ballou heads for higher ground when Magic gets too rambunctious but she was into it yesterday...

Saranac Lake and Remington Art Fair...

2011-10-01T14:19:00.000-07:00

Driving to Saranac Lake to see an allergist about those hives. Total waste of time but the ride was, as always, gorgeous. Early morning...leaves just beginning to change...mist over everything, radio playing, coffee. Nice alone time.

The Remington Art Fair in Canton, NY last weekend. I, of course, forgot to take pictures right in the beginning so here it looks a little empty halfway through (but that's so good, right?). And I met up with so many old friends and artists I haven't seen in a while. It was really a wonderful day.

Hats, cuffs...

Potholders (!) Sold a bunch!

And I got inventory done and tagging done because of the fair so now I'm ready for Christmas on Etsy! Except I have to weave more cause I sold stuff...

Happy October!!

Good Morning, Horses!

2011-09-25T10:37:00.000-07:00

Ahhh horses in the morning...and soon GOODBYE to the old barn! OK maybe not SOON but eventually and we are making progress...

Digging the trench for the water and electric to the barn...thank God for machines sometimes! This would have taken Gary and I another lifetime to dig! And today we put in the lines and got them through the foundation to the cellar to hook up the water! YAY!

Yesterday I was at an art festival and had a wonderful time seeing old friends both artists and customers--made some money (for the barn!!!), had fun...today I am EXHAUSTED...phew...
xo

Horse vs. Machine...

2011-09-18T04:22:00.000-07:00

The guy with the excavator came today! WOOHOO!!! Even though the horses weren't sure what to make of him. He moved enormous rocks out of one of their pastures and filled in the holes. And he is using the rocks to make a road through to the pond which probably won't be passable until next year after we get truckloads of gravel and sand but it's a start. He took down the trees that were in the way of the new barn. And he is back today to strip off the sod and pull out more rocks. I swear this farm was built entirely on rock. I am exhausted from watching. Did I mention that my friend Edie brought over a couple of lawn chairs?

Enjoy! xo

Midnight Gypsy!

2011-09-17T04:37:00.000-07:00

Here it is! Thank you Giada for the inspiration...heading out for a ride while we wait to see if the equipment is coming to dig holes for barn footers! Haven't actually heard from the guy in a couple of days but we are assuming he is still on board...Can't wait!

Have a beautiful weekend!

Totally Domestic...

2011-09-16T14:15:00.001-07:00

Oh boy the tomatoes are in and I'm processing, and processing, and processing...Actually I'm just cooking them down and putting some of them through my Victorio and presto I have juice and pulp coming down the chute and skin and seeds out the other side! Easy. But there are soooooo many. phew. And I have been cranky lately. Trying to deal with stuff. And I've been whining, I know. I'm sorry. So I've thrown myself into domestic bliss. Bread making too. Gary grinds the wheat berries for me and I mix in a little ground oatmeal, some King Arthur's flour...yummmm.

I also rode this morning and that helped though Dommie spun completely around when he thought a hawk was out to get him. Really? We are just beginning to get both of us into shape for some real work. For now, it's walk/trot transitions and trotting a lot in the field to get his head in gear then into the arena to get stronger. I tried to take a video when I was riding but it meant riding with one hand western style and Dom hasn't a clue (or he was pretending) because he walked right into some bushes when he figured out no one was steering. So that was that.

No late blight here! Thank god...

Wheat berry grinder and bread making...

Ahhhh. bread. And linguini and clam sauce for dinner. Not only domestic but getting fatter! ha!

xo

Where is everyone?

2011-09-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

Feeling quite alone here...no one responding...no one commenting. I don't know how to answer comments except by posting here. Don't know how to send you emails connecting to my blog. I'm so low tech. My kids would laugh at me. But I read your comments and totally appreciate them! Honest.

Meanwhile I am so inspired lately. There is a story behind these colors. I was watching the cooking channel. Giada was on. She was on her way to the LA Philharmonic and I have no idea what she was cooking but her dress!!!!! OMG! It was a dark dramatic eggplant with a V-neck down to here and trimmed with a sapphire blue banding at least 1 1/2 inches wide. That was it. It was perfect. I couldn't stop looking at it. Then I searched my storeroom and grabbed anything that was close. Now I'm warping and while it isn't exactly the colors she was wearing, it would totally go with it! I'm in love!

Inspiration

Luckily, new ribbons from Webs. See previous blog!

Building my warp...

Adding a big of green and some red purple...

Finishing with some deeper eggplant...

Warp going on the loom...Tomorrow maybe after finishing the threading I can photograph the weaving!

Inspiration in a box...

2011-09-12T07:18:00.000-07:00

My still life...from Webs in Northampton, MA...favorite store. $100 worth of inspiration. Now to weave off a couple of looms to make way for the new. I'm keeping everything in the box for now because it looks so incredibly yummy!

Purple Rain

2011-09-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

Another scarf...I've been feeling somewhat better and creating! Another purple creation--seems to be my favorite color. And I've already started pulling together another scarf but first I have to weave these off and finish another 10 towels on another loom. I tend to weave one scarf and want to go on to something else (good thing I'm NOT a production weaver!). Then all my looms get filled up and I can't do any more designing until I empty them. So it's discipline this week. At least it is cooler. Also went riding yesterday but today a l.i.t.t.l.e. sore. Maybe tomorrow.

Warping mill designing...

Finished scarf...

Need to load this one onto Etsy...

Now only three more scarves plus cuffs to weave...sigh...

Hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful weekend!

Pizza Night!

2011-09-06T05:03:00.000-07:00

Had good friends over last night. I made pizza dough, laid out the toppings and we grilled individual pizzas. Ahhhh...end of the summer and the night was cool...

Alex came home in time to make his own, too...

Mark and Gary frying up some pepperoni. So much concentration!!

Leftover this morning...nuff said.

Family Stuff and Barn Beginnings!

2011-09-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

I couldn't resist taking a picture of Noah trying to scrape a decal left on his dorm window by the previous tenant! I drove him down to Skidmore, said a teary goodbye, and drove off to NH to see my Mom. Just wanted to check on her because since she came back from our family vacation a couple of weeks ago she has been thinking her house was moved. As in moved to another state or something. At the same time she was thinking this, another part of her brain was telling her that it couldn't have moved and it must be her! She is still driving though her world is shrinking down to gas station, grocery store and drs. Don't know how long they will let her keep her license though I drove with her and she did fine (drives a stick shift!), obeys all the lights, puts on her blinkers, etc. Just don't know what her reactions would be if something happened quickly. I think that she was just discombobulated from the trip to camp and back. She needs her routine. In any case, we had a nice quiet two days of visiting.

When I got home, Gary and I staked out the new barn out the back door and much closer to the house (nice in the winter!).

Unfortunately those evergreens have to go! But I'm excited to begin work! Gary is working on getting a permit and we are making a list for Lowe's. We have to call the man with the equipment to come take down the trees and dig holes for the footers. This is all too slow for me but since the heat has come back it's hard to motivate the guys I live with!

Hopefully the landscape will be changing soon and more pictures to come!

Happy Labor Day Weekend!
xo

Pancreatic Cancer

2011-09-02T19:06:00.000-07:00

Pancreatic Cancer sucks...I just came home from a funeral. There were three of us. Chris called us the Wellness Sisters. We all had pancreatic cancer. Monday, Cindy died. We both saw her on Sunday because her husband called me to tell me she was fading. I had been on vacation and then brought Noah to school and hadn't been home to check on her. She went fast. Almost too fast to process. She was a woman of faith. Something I'm lacking, I'm afraid. Hundreds turned out for her wake and funeral. I miss her already. She was an evangelistic sort of person and I've been thinking about that all day. In her honor I'm reaching out to anyone anywhere who has pancreatic cancer. If you want to talk. If you want to cry. If you just want someone to listen and understand, contact me. I feel utterly helpless sometimes but I'm not giving up. Ever. And I'm royally pissed off.

What's going on with me...

2011-08-28T14:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I can't believe it's been a month since I last blogged...I've had good times this summer and bad. Train trip with my sister was absolutely wonderful and visiting my Linda out on Whidby Isl. Seeing two Etsy friends. Another high point was our vacation with some of my sibs and Mom...We rented a house at Brant Lake, NY which is near Lake George which is near "Crazy as a Loom's Studio...Soooooo I brought sisters and in-laws to her studio and we bought 3 potholder looms and assorted loopers. And Hilary ended up with two of my dress scarves...The rest of the vacation was spent weaving potholders and sharing the looms...hilarious.

Hilary perusing my wares...

Older brother, Paul wearing his loopers before a turn at weaving.

What an amazing crew! (notice Noah does not have a potholder...guess he sees enough weaving at home)

But about three weeks before the train trip I started having hives. Just "run of the mill" hives. Itchy then not. Moving around...hands, then maybe leg, moving to arm, etc. Sometimes I would break down and take Benedril but the next day I hated being a zombie. I complained to my oncologist. But he didn't think much about it.

But I think something is out of wack.

So now it's been three months and it's totally getting old...I'm tired...I've had a CT scan last month and they didn't find anything. I'm getting another one tomorrow afternoon and hopefully there won't be anything to find again but living like this is hard.

I think I mentioned that we have a pancreatic cancer group here. Well, just got back from visiting Cindy and she is probably not going to last the night. She went downhill so fast and right now she is not conscious. Cancer so sucks. Chris (stage 3) and I just cling to each other.

BUT I am ever hopeful and on the good news side Gary and I are building a barn to take the place of the old one which is huge and falling down. So still making long term plans and determined to think in terms of years. We have to live the life we have not the life we wish we had.

Kiwi Scarf

2011-07-28T14:35:00.001-07:00

Gathering materials for inspiration...I knew I wanted summer colors: bright, cheerful, fresh and full of life.

Here's the beginning...adding one yarn at a

time, mixing, hunting for the next one...

Finally, four scarves long plus enough for a couple of cuffs. Ready to tie off and move the whole warp to the loom...

Yup! Weaving. I love to see the first one. To see if what I imagined is happening.

Ready for Etsy...maybe tomorrow.

Just thought I'd share that I got a lovely letter in the mail from my friend on Whidbey Isl. And the funny thing is that yesterday I picked up a card to send to her to thank her for my amazing time with them. We are in sync And I miss her. She is such a creative spirit and next time around we have to be at least on the same coast!

Meanwhile I'll leave you with a picture of the breathtaking clouds we have had around here!

Happy Thursday, everyone

New Coral Beach Scarf...

2011-07-19T14:04:00.001-07:00

I just designed another Coral Beach scarf in similar colors...I seem to be in love with these textures and the beachy mood.

the warp on my warping mill before going to the loom

Finished scarf

fringe shot...

And one of the triangles I finished the other day. I photographed it some but haven't loaded it on to Etsy yet. I'll maybe wait until late August because this is a soft, warm scarf made with a lovely hand-dyed (not by me, however!) bamboo/silk yarn. It feels heavenly around your neck!

...a closeup!

Off to see if dinner is almost ready...made a red sauce for spaghetti and dropped in some organic chicken thighs...it's been cooking in the crock pot for hours and smells amazing! I'm trying not to eat much meat at all but Gary got some local chicken and I'll indulge. Apparently when you have cancer you should give up meat (AND dairy (WHAT no cheese???!!!) AND sugar, and white flour) and I just read NO alcohol...I'm failing with this diet thing big time! I have added lots of veggies to my diet and I don't eat much in the way of sugar (does ice cream count?) and we have been grinding our own wheat for bread but I don't know if I can go without cheese and wine...I am a work in progress...sigh...

Tomorrow I have some young girls coming over to see (ride) Duke. Grandchildren of a good friend. Duke, however, has not been riden in 8 months and I hope he behaves. Plus the bugs have been so bad I haven't riden either. So they are coming around 8 am and we'll see!!!!

Enjoy! xo

More Triangles!

2011-07-11T07:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been working a little over the past week...Both of these triangles are for colder weather but I figured I'd get a head start on Christmas stuff since I'm not doing a craft fair until October and my inventory is down because I've been tired...

Here's one in blues and greens and everything else I could throw at it! This one is soft, sumptuous, lightweight, and warm without being too hot.

Here is some bamboo rayon and wool that I bought on Friday Island, WA. I fell in love with the autumnal colors and it was a joy to work with. I love weaving the triangles because it is so hands on and I get to touch every length of yarn.

These will both look somewhat different when they are off the loom--will try to photograph them later...Today is a cleaning day...ugh...starting with the bedroom and hanging up/putting away clothes and, if I have the energy, getting rid of clothes that no longer fit. What a job! And did I mention that my suitcase is still half full sitting on the floor? But as a reward, yesterday, I bought some 500 thread count sheets at TJMaxx and washed them last night and I can't wait to put them on the bed!

Happy Monday, Everyone!!

Florida??!!

2011-07-10T08:06:00.000-07:00

The Gulf...

Well, this is the last of my latest journey...Florida. I know. I had absolutely no plans to go to Florida. None. But flying so unnerved me that wherever Faith was going I was going, too. So we flew to Atlanta and the plan landed so abruptly (the pilot even said "here we go down the hill!") that I got a severe pain in my left eye which Faith said was sinus. phew...took another pill and landed in Tampa where her husband picked us up.

We actually had an amazing time even though it was hundreds of degrees hotter than Seattle and sticky. One of the first things I did was get most of my hair cut off. That felt better! And we went to see the manatees and a hippo and lots of birds. Way too much fun. And I got my courage up to fly by myself. WooHoo! Can Italy be next????

Going out to dinner at their club!

Lucy the hippo

Manatees!!

The manatees were in a natural river and in the middle of the river there was a 30 ft rock cavern and the park had a dock over it with glass so we could see the manatees eating lettuce and all the fish just hanging there in the deep cold water...fascinating!

I'm off to watch a horse show for fun today. We have been having wonderful weather!! YAY

Happy Weekend, Everyone!!

Whidbey Island!

2011-07-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

Six days on Whidbey Island went flying by...

Walks with Faith...you gotta love the boots...

Waking up to this view...

Fish out of water...

And Charlie, what can I say...he didn't fit in my suitcase though he stole my heart...

Met my wonderful Etsy friends from Seattle--We all belong to Etsy Project Embrace which was formed to support cancer research. Ginny (middle) (http://www.ginnyhuber.etsy.com/) is an amazing felter and Kristin (right) (http://www.loveartworks.etsy.com/) is a wonderful potter.

Captain Mac (Linda's husband) and their tug

Looking for whales

Linda and me

A beautiful lighthouse--Friday Island

I love the sound of the waves

Because our train was the first train through ND in two weeks, we assumed that the floods were receding...we were totally surprised to find out that our return train trip was cancelled because the water was rising. We are still haunted by the devastation we witnessed and our thoughts are with those poor farmers whose farms are underwater and who can't plant...

Those of you who know me know that I haven't flown in 34 years...needless to say I was terrified. Luckily for me I had some pain pills with me and Faith invited me to fly with her to her winter home in Florida instead of flying alone to Syracuse. So the next morning we went to the airport, I took a pill, I clung to my sister, took off shoes for security, sat next to the window, pulled down the shades, put in earplugs so I couldn't hear the engines rev up, and off we flew...more of an adventure than I had anticipated...

Happy 4th of July, everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Train Time!!

2011-07-02T08:30:00.000-07:00

Waiting for the train in Syracuse--Faith got on in Springfield, MA and we were wicked excited!!!

Our tiny, tiny compartment--It was hard to get far enough away to take a picture! Such a good thing we get along!

Chicago station to change train...

Adding more cars in Minot, ND...we were the first train through in 3 weeks due to flooding. It's a good thing we were oblivious to all of this because we were all relaxed and happy!

We were totally treated like first class--flowers in the dining car--just sign your name and eat what you want--already paid for!!!

OK, we woke up to all kinds of water in North Dakota...unbelievable, really and the train was traveling sometimes about 4 mi/hr!

See the fence posts sticking out of the water?

The Mississippi...

This train trip was the most amazing thing...we were in our own little bubble, feeling very relaxed, wine in the evenings, good food...feeling very far away from everyday life. We rarely read, didn't play the word game I had, didn't work on my knitting, rarely talked on the cell phones...we just talked to each other and looked out the window, watched the world go by. The porter on our car was wonderful, brought champagne for everyone the first night, gave us extra pillows and blankets...there were fresh towels in the shower room and complementary soap and shampoo...the food was very good and the waiters and waitresses were very friendly and funny. We sat at tables with other passengers and met some interesting people. I would do this again in a heartbeat!

I don't know what this river is but it is in Montana--the rivers were raging!

More tomorrow!!

We've Arrived!!!

2011-06-18T17:51:00.000-07:00

Faith and I have arrived in Seattle! What a wonderful (though slow) train trip which I will blog about when I get back. For now I am settled in with my lovely friend from HS, Linda and her husband Mac...

Ferry to Whidbey Island, WA

View from their living room...sigh...

Linda at her 24 shaft computer driven loom weaving the most incredible, delicately patterned scarves!!!!

Nice, huh?

This vacation is absolutely THE BEST thing I have done in a long, long while!!

Chooooo-choooooo!!!!!

2011-06-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm off!!! Driving to Syracuse with Gary and meeting Faith on the train! Wooooo Hooooo!!!! She just called me and is all settled in our little room...though she says doesn't know where we will fit out luggage! We don't care...she is right now sitting looking out the window going through the Berkshires...Ahhhhh, sounds blissful to me! The train doesn't get to Syracuse until 9:30 so Gary is dropping me off and driving back before it gets too dark. God, we are getting old! Driving at night is more difficult than it used to be!

Ohhhh check out my new bag from two of my wonderful weaving students as a going away present!! That purple and pink go with everything I own!! I LOVE it...and it has a box of wine in it! Ha! I know I was supposed to pack light but...

I'm off!!! xo

Blue Blocked Towels...

2011-06-08T16:01:00.001-07:00

Ahhhhh...new towels. Actually I've made similar ones before but thought I would sort of recreate them for summer because I'm in love with these bright, cheerful colors!

Winding the warp onto the loom using lease sticks

All wound on and ready to thread

Threading for plain weave through the heddles

Threading through heddles and then through the reed

All ready for weaving

Bobbins wound and ready to go

There, now I'm happy...I'm actually starting something new.

Blog Catch-up!!!

2011-06-04T06:57:00.000-07:00

Geez...I don't even know what to call these posts anymore...I blog so seldom now that it is hard to categorize when I do...We (Noah and I) had a tag sale last week, got rid of a lot of stuff, made some money and are looking to have another. After all, what didn't sell is still cleaned up, has a price on it and is stored in the barn under plastic, and ready to go! So we'll see...

Misty Morning...Tag Sale Day at 5 AM

My porch loaded up with junk!

Alex's 22 birthday!! WooooHoooo!!! I think we embarrass him which is too funny, of course. Though I also think he feels well-loved! Today, he and Gary are replacing the upper boards in my outdoor riding arena for me. When we first got Duke and he and Dom were figuring out things, he made it clear that he did not like being bitten on the rear and would quite often kick out. I also let them up in the arena to eat grass sometimes and quite a few boards were kicked...sooooo today replacement boards are going up! YAY!!! Thank you guys!!

Alex's 22nd Birthday Cake!

And my trip...Well, the Seattle/Whitbey Isl. trip is happening beginning June 14! I am catching the train in Syracuse and my sister Faith will get on in Springfield, MA. Yes, the same Springfield that had a tornado a few days ago...the same Springfield where my sister Eileen lives...WOW! Who knew that we got tornadoes there??? Everyone is fine there though my niece was stopped in her car on the way home from work on I91 watching all the debris flying around and feeling her car rocking!

Weather at the farm...

Have a great weekend, everyone! I'm off to ride Dom but before I go here's Duke's routine in the morning!

Lots of happenings!!!

2011-05-20T13:17:00.000-07:00

Gary's 65th Birthday!

My 62nd Birthday!

Well another month has flown by...had Gary's birthday, my birthday, wove some, sold some...getting moldy from all the rain here and now that the sun has come out the bugs have too. No riding for me unless I can get up very early while it is cool but right now the field is too wet so I'm waiting.

My next BIG THING is my train trip with my sister, Faith, June 14 to Seattle!!!!!! I am wicked excited and can't believe it is coming so fast. I have no idea what to wear either since I have been gaining and gaining and gaining...sigh.

Birthday Dinner--Alex and Victoria made pasta! (hmmmm pasta--weight gain...)

Noah bidding farewell to two very cute friends!!

Noah is home and busy clearing out junk and redoing his room and getting my pantry organized. I don't know where he came from, really. So much good energy. And I'm having a CT scan on Tuesday, oncologist appointment. on Wed. Feeling pretty good though my energy is low.

New Ivory Triangle Scarf

Just finished a triangle scarf and listed it on Etsy. Lots of silk boucle in this one and tied yarns for added texture!

Oh yeah, on my list of things to buy--I got my coffee maker and a new (used) riding lawnmower!!! Next, new half chaps and we are honestly talking about taking down at least half of the old barn and saving the rest! WOOHOO!!! But I can't see that happening on weekends with just us so will have to see if the Amish can give us an estimate!

Happy Friday, Everyone!!!!!

A walk in the woods...

2011-04-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

I've been raking my horse paths so I can see the rocks and then Gary can move them...

And along the way there are these amazing wild flowers but I have no idea what they are...

and these...

And of course I can't leave without a horse picture! Hi Duke!!!!

Now, I'm off to Camp Bravehearts for the weekend! This camp is for women who have or are dealing with cancer. There is white water rafting, high ropes, horseback riding, arts and crafts, a heated pool. I am NOT doing white water but maybe the ropes (NO zip line--I need stress??) and definitely yes to the horseback riding...So I'm off to meet new friends, good food, and then to my Mom's in NH because when I talked to her a couple of days ago, she didn't sound good--had a bad cold and seemed confused. I'll stay with her a couple of days and hopefully when I get back the north country will have DRIED OUT! Never saw so much water. In fact I have to take an alternate route downstate to camp because some of the roads are flooded! Closing my Etsy store for now, too. Be back mid week! Hope everyone enjoys the weekend and Happy May!

Happy Spring!

2011-04-25T06:21:00.001-07:00

Pretty cute for 90!!

Meg, Eileen, Kevin (with beer!) Faith, me, Maureen

Paul, Mom, Stephen

Me, Stephen, Meg

The Soon-to-be Travelers!! Me and Faith!

Wow, it's been a while since I checked in...I had a telephone interview with SSI for disability and the woman couldn't have been nicer. AND I didn't have to fill in the forms--she did that for me (I HATE forms). She told me it could take 3-6 months so I was resigned to waiting but knew that since I turn 62 in May my regular SSI (which I already applied for) would kick in by July...Not two weeks later they approved the application! WOW! My first real paycheck in 20 years...every month...for the rest of my life. And back pay for the past year. I'm looking into cancer clinics to jump start my diet or change my eating habits, or whatever. I also have a list of things.

--a new small barn

--coffee maker

--enlarge outdoor arena

--bulldozer for riding paths in woods

--culvert pipe for wet paths in the woods

--house siding

--kiln

--deck

--new riding lawn mower

--new glass door for living room

--new half chaps

--more riding lessons

ahhhhh...in no particular order. OK the barn thing is out of reach but a girl can dream!! And the coffee maker is definitely within reach! ha!

Wonderful time at my Mom's for her birthday and loved seeing and visiting with all my sibs. It was hard to say goodbye to the two brothers who live in CO. hmmm...

--train trip to CO

--water heater for washing horses

I'm having way too much fun with my list. And the train trip with my sister, Faith, going to Seattle is all set for June 14. She is picking up the train in Springfield, MA and I will catch up to her in Syracuse. So wonderful to have things to look forward to!!

Easter was beautiful here--went riding though the field was wet and couldn't get into the woods very far because of water but warmed him up and came back to the arena and worked his butt some (and mine). Then out to the woods to rake my paths and try to get stronger. Then over to friend's house for dinner! Today I'm off to Mary's studio (http://www.maryhardingjewelry.etsy.com/) to make more buttons. What I'll do with all these buttons I don't know! Maybe open another Etsy store...we'll see.

Alex off to his honor society meeting (in a TIE!)

Hope spring is good for all of you! Love it when it is in the 60s and no bugs! YAY!

Sale Days, Sunshine Towels and Mom's 90th!!

2011-04-06T14:00:00.000-07:00

Phew...too much going on lately...I applied for Social Security then they told me to apply for disability so I set up a telephone appointment for this past Monday. Everything is fine but going through all the doctor stuff and getting all the information set up for this appointment had Gary tearing up and later that night I had a meltdown. Still dealing with it. Though I don't really know why it is so difficult after the fact but there it is.

So...took off 10 towels though I usually wait to have them all woven--there are still probably 5 more on the loom to weave yet. But I wanted to get them in my Etsy store (which is closed right now). Then I decided in my quest to lighten up to have a sale--20% off everything in my shop. That way I will have some money for my next adventure which is a trip to Seattle with my sister in June on the train! Yahoo!!! Anyway, I have decided not to do my big craft fair in August and I also decided that once I get SSI I won't have to work so hard and I don't have to weave so much and I can get my guest bedroom back (right now it is also a store!) so I want to sell it all!!! And I only want to weave smaller things like my scarves and maybe towels instead of wraps and shawls. And I'm not going to weave a gizillion of them at a time. So that's where I am...And here are the latest Sunshine II towels.

AND I'm off tomorrow (was supposed to leave today but it was SNOWING) to visit my Mom for her 90th birthday. All my siblings will be there--all 7 of them. I have to leave Gary here but someone has to work! ha!

Weaving vs. exercise...

2011-04-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

These pictures don't have very much to do with this post but who cares...

Gary and I have been talking lately about how to keep me healthy...I need to weave less and walk more (or ride) but I seem driven to go back to the same old, same old that I did before I got sick...Weaving and working too hard. Not getting out enough. Convincing myself that none of this cancer thing really happened. OK maybe not completely but I do have a great deal of denial. I called oncology the other day because I saw in the paper that someone here (I didn't know her) had died of pancreatic cancer early March. There is no support group for us because we don't last long enough. So I told the nurse to give out my name to anyone who wanted to talk. She told me that there were two more just diagnosed. Geez...It seems like a lot for such a small place. Four already died last year before I knew them and I'm friendly with 2 others and now 2 more newbies??

Anyway, it's spring and with all that renewal I am determined to take better care of this battered body of mine! I have applied to Social Security because I turn 62 in May and the guy called me up and told me I should apply for disability, too. So I'm working on that. It would help us a lot financially and I wouldn't have to work so hard. Because right now I get maybe 3 good days in and then I'm exhausted and spend the rest of the week reading books and watching TV. So I need to find a better balance. Meanwhile, went riding yesterday, brushed both horses, cut Duke's mane (what was left after he rubbed off most of it this past year), and took these pictures after we rode...proof that they should only breed horses dirt color.

Well, it's Saturday morning and I'm off to Mary Harding's Studio (http://www.maryhardingjewelry.etsy.com/) to glaze some buttons...then I'll come home and ride...

I've almost left so many times...

2011-03-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQY4dIxY1H4&feature=player_embedded#at=37

I've almost left so many times. When times got hard, when your job disappeared, when the money ran out, when our credit went bad, when the bank threatened. I thought this is not what I signed up for. This is my only life and I'm miserable. I want this, I want that. I need companship. I want romance. I need security. I want happiness. I need, I want...

I think that I let the past 12 years make me sick. I think I let all of it get deep, deep inside me. And it did damage. I did damage. I didn't cope well. I was depressed. I wasn't very supportive. It was so all about me alot of the time. And you. You did what you had to do. You kept on going. You never gave up. Ever. You never gave up on yourself or on me.

Cancer has opened my eyes to a lot of things. How little time we have here. How important you are to me. How you stood by me no matter what. And now look. We didn't lose the house. We still have a car. You are working hard. I am still weaving. Two of our kids are in college and all three are fine young men. You kept us warm all winter cutting wood. We are still in debt but I still have my beloved horses and dog and cats...and a deadly form of cancer.

Two women have already died in the past year from this cancer here. There are two more women that I know of with pancreatic cancer. One had her whipple procedure in NYC at the same hospital with the same doctor at the same time and we met there. We were diagnosed at different stages but all within this past 1 1/2 year. One who died was diagnosed the month before I was. I was supposed to get in touch with another woman but she died before I could. Another has gone on vacation with her husband this month but we think she is having a recurrence. There is no support group because people don't live long enough. My kids are scared I won't live. Hell, I'm scared I won't live. But for whatever time I have left I want to be here completely. Not with one foot out the door.

Even though you don't read my blog and my children don't read my blog, this is a love letter. Though I think you already know.

So here we are. Re-examining a life. Realizing that it is never the way you plan and railing against the past is useless. Realizing that the only thing you can really change is your attitude. OK and maybe your eating habits though I haven't really succeeded at that.

Ocean View scarf...

2011-03-28T13:57:00.000-07:00

I don't have an ocean view now. But I grew up in southern CT and spent a lot of time at the local beach. Aside from some severe sunburns (ahhh baby oil!) I remember driving around the little point of land there in my baby blue VW convertible and sitting on these enormous rocks in wonderful solitude watching the waves breaking and the sea gulls and contemplating all the angst of those teenage years. I miss the water (and the body and the car I had then...) and with the coming of spring I'm so drawn to those fresh colors. So I pulled out some boxes of blues and greens and began creating. For the past 5 years or so I have been seeing my warps as landscapes and I'm still in love with them!! My helper kitty, Ballou. Actually she does not usually play with my yarns but spring brings out her inner kitten, I think... Warping on my warping mill and weaving... Happy Monday! xo

Nuno Felting!

2011-03-26T06:01:00.000-07:00

Quite a few years ago--maybe 10?--I took a weekend nuno felting course with Polly Sterling and her amazingly talented daughter Mwfanwy (now in NYC). It was a weekend full of creative women, hard work, good food, wine, and fabulous felt! With Polly's help we all made quite a few yards--maybe 9 yds--of felted material on silk which we then turned into jackets. Honestly, though, I have forgotten quite a bit of how I actually did this...sooooo off to the Internet and I found a tutorial and I had Gary pick up some bubble wrap and a pool noodle and today is the day. What I'm trying to do is use some silk scarves I have. I originally bought these blanks to dye but have become tired of doing that and I have some already dyed which are, frankly, ugly. The first piece is just on an undyed piece of silk and the second one is a scarf which my friend dyed but the colors and design are wild and not that appealing so I thought that would be a good one to play with. I still have some beautiful Australian merino wool I bought at Polly's so here we go!

Supplies

Laying out the bits of wool on a piece of silk

Covering the piece with plastic after laying it on bubble wrap

Rolling everything up to start the felting onto the silk

After the wool has migrated into the silk I start to throw it down, over and over to actually felt the wool and pucker the silk

This one is on that ugly scarf--should have done both sides because the back is STILL UGLY!!

After wetting it down with soapy water and rolling it up

Ready to be thrown around

OK now I'm off to take photos of the actual finished pieces...I don't really like them as much as I had hoped but I'm still new at this...

Here they are...

And the ugly backside!!! Yikes!

The front but now that it's nighttime my lighting is off...

Anyway, I'm going back to my weaving...

My week...

2011-03-23T12:56:00.000-07:00

I have been working like mad making purses--using some handwoven material I had set aside. I had a wonderful 3 days of energy!! Maybe it started because I went riding (ok I can still feel that--ouch). In anycase I got 12 purses done, lined, sewed, photographed and two loaded on Etsy! phew...

All pinned and ready...

Done...and used some of my batik fat quarters for the lining.

And some lining is silky polyester...

AND, of course, my own hand made buttons!! YAY!

However, not all went according to plan this week. My Mom fell and has two black eyes according to my sisters. And her 90th birthday is coming up and friends and family are taking her out to dinner (and taking pictures!!). She has become a little compulsive and was rushing and tripped on the cement outside her house. I haven't seen her but we are thankful that she didn't break anything. I swear she has good peasant stock in her bones! And to add to all this, my van has died...transmission...SIGH...I think I will have to rent a car to get to NH for the party. Don't know if we are going to have the van fixed--taking it tonight to a transmission guy to run some more tests! ARRRRGGGGG!!!! But I did have three good days in a row. And even though I'm tired today, I feel so good about what I accomplished!! And Noah called. He left his pillow here. What is life without a good pillow!!?

Happy Wednesday!!

First Ride--Happy Spring!!!

2011-03-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Spring everyone!!!!

The sun is shining and I just had my first ride since the last surgery in December! YAY!!! We worked in the arena for about 10 minutes and then went out in the field for 20 or so...Had to go out early while it was still alittle frozen because everything is pretty muddy around here. Snow still in the woods but the sun...ahhhhhh the sun is amazing. I think I need the light to function. Dommie did well, a little frisky but we mostly just walked with a little trotting. Will have to work to get him back in shape (and me, too). Took this picture after they went out to the pasture. Seems I tuckered him out! :D As soon as they saw me coming they came over for an apple and I didn't disappoint them! Happy Spring! I love it!!!

These pictures were taken a couple of days ago...Noah just left for school after being home for the week. Love his energy!

Noah off to collect some kindling for me!

To the woods...

Path to the pond...

Our pond...I wouldn't walk on it!!

Enjoy!!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

2011-03-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a long time since I blogged because I have been so tired. I did get a good CT scan a couple of weeks ago!! YAY!! However, I have been napping every day--just no energy. Trying to walk when it doesn't rain but mostly just blah...Then Noah came home for the week and just having someone in the house has helped.

I started working on little fun evening bags for my Etsy shop (more later when I photograph), went out for the first time with Gary since November to a coffee/wine bar. Had a blast and got to hear Noah play in a local band because they were short a fiddler. Our friend, Mark, is on the bodhran and I wish I knew how to flip the video right-side-up but oh well. I should know better than to take it like this on my little camera since I did the same thing when he played for his brother's wedding but...can I still blame chemo?? Oh, maybe it was the wine...hmmmm. Good wine...I might have gotten a little loud....

Meanwhile keeping Japan in our prayers and thoughts...
xo

Out for a walk...

2011-02-20T14:50:00.000-08:00

Off to visit the horses...

OK, Dommie looks startled because I have been in the house for 2 months and he no longer knows who I am...Duke is rarely startled by anything and is using this as an opportunity to eat Dommie's hay.

Oh, it's just you...

I'm off following the trail.

with Mieux who loves it when we come out to play!

Time for a little fun with the sled Gary was using to haul wood.

Waiting for spring but still loving winter!

I am trying to remember to get outside every day... ok I've gone outside yesterday and today but it's a start, right? It was sunny, cold and beautiful this afternoon and I went to see the horses, took Mieux (our French Canadian barn kitty) for a walk, following the tracks to find my husband cutting down thorn apple trees. On the way back I gave the horses some carrots and now they love me again! Had enough energy today to finish a length of weaving which will become wide scarves with buttons and then made fried rice with one large shitaki mushroom that Gary grew and baked some squash. Yummmm...now for wine and a book...

Painted Desert Scarf

2011-02-16T13:58:00.000-08:00

A beautiful day to photograph--overcast with a beautiful light! Thank you Katie for coming over for this. You are beautiful, too!

...cliff dwellings, striated rock faces, mountain streams, sunset...this one makes me happy.

Enjoy!

Hand Made Buttons!

2011-02-11T09:32:00.001-08:00

Oh my good god, I am in love with these buttons!! The detail in these...the color...I think I'm changing careers and getting a kiln! Mary Harding (http://www.maryhardingjewelry.etsy.com/) says I can get one for only $650 and free shipping. hmmmmm...I wonder how many buttons I have to make to justify that? Below is the new scarf I have been working on--more photos will come when Katie gets back from her weekend and I can photograph and load on Etsy.

Went over to Mary's studio where she had already sanded and bisqued fired the clay buttons I made before Christmas. Then I painted them with different glazes and she fired them again for 9 hours. Went back yesterday with my etsy model (Katie) and fell in love with all of them--even the ones that were too heavily glazed and lumpy. I think they are beautiful and they feel wonderful. Then, of course, we made more. I'm going to move in with Mary (though her husband might object). Maybe I can live in her barn/studio. I think I need to look on Craig's list for a kiln.

Below is the before picture. All white and before I glazed them...sooooo pretty! And Mary had glazed shards with the new glazes so we could see what they look like fired! All labeled and everything organized. I'm turning into a button freak!

Enjoy your Friday!

New Ideas...

2011-01-19T15:50:00.000-08:00

Finally, I have freed up 3 of my 22" looms...I promised myself I wouldn't start anything really new until I got all the scarves and cuffs OFF!!! Usually I finish one scarf and go happily on to another loom to weave a different scarf instead of disciplining myself to stick to one loom. So today, to reward myself because of my amazing finishing ability, I have started a new type of scarf--this one will be about 10" wide and about 73" long (after washing, who knows!) and will close with buttons on one hemmed end and crocheted edged buttonholes on the other end. I've been dreaming about this one...you will be able to wrap it around and around your neck and button it closed.

I started winding the warp to start but it soon became too dark in the living room/loom room so I had to stop but I have a picture of the beginning! I tried to make it very subdued in color--sort of cloud-like and gossamer-like. hahahahaha...ok THAT didn't work. I even had names in mind like "lichen" or "tundra" or "windswept"... Now the name seems to be "riot" or "rainbow"... I tried, I really, really tried..

So here it is...the first 3 inches of the width and 4 scarves long...more to come tomorrow!

Monet's Garden Dress Scarf

2011-01-11T06:37:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to duplicate a scarf I wove last year for a new customer who fell in love with an old picture on Etsy...but I find it impossible to be exact. I also do not have the same threads and yarns from year to year. It is not always possible to stock the same variety so I made do with what I had and I hope she likes it. Meanwhile I have three more to weave and put on Etsy! I'm happy with this one even if my customer doesn't end up wanting it!

Winding the warp...

Sleying the reed after threading the heddles...

Ready to weave...

Weaving

Have a lovely week!

Yay! My cards are ready!!!

2011-01-05T13:35:00.001-08:00

For the past couple of months I was trying to develop a line of note cards though I was sort of waylaid by medical stuff. At least I actually got the cards done in time for Christmas gifts and I have more photographs for more cards--maybe this week I'll bring them to my favorite copy center...but meanwhile I'm working on getting these ready for Etsy!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year! My only resolution this year is to enjoy the moment! So far it's working!

Pre Christmas Surgery

2010-12-22T09:24:00.000-08:00

Before we talk about the surgery I have to say that the day after I came home from the hospital Gary brought Noah home from Skidmore and the Alex and Noah went out looking for a tree. When they couldn't find any for sale they went into our woods and cut one. I think it is beautiful and can't wait for them to decorate it today! Such a delicate tree! I loved that they did this together. I love that they are not squabbling as much as they used to. I love that they are home for Christmas!!

Well, I did it...I actually volunteered for this surgery. I know, hard to believe. But the alternative was to never lift anything over 10 pounds forever. The last two surgeries had left a bit of a mess and a very wide scar and 4 separate hernias so not knowing really what I was getting into I went to the hospital and they accessed my port (soooo easy) and said that surgery would probably be about 45 min and that I could probably go home after. Yeah... The surgery became a bit complicated with adhesions, took over 2 hours and I stayed in the hospital for 5 days. So much for Christmas! Here I am after the surgeon took out half the staples, battered, bruised and swollen but recovering. I can now get in and out of bed by myself!! Oh, did I mention that I do not have a belly button?? Weird. And the gauze is over where they had a drain which is still a little messy. So in two weeks he will recheck and if the swelling isn't down we will do a CT scan and aspirate. Doesn't sound like fun so I'm hoping my body knows what to do. Meanwhile I'm not to do much except order everyone around! hahahaha... I actually pretty much finished my shopping early and I'm making Gary wrap. And I'll go with him to get some stocking stuffs and that's it! I'm done!

So hoping everyone has a wonderful Christmas with loved ones!!

Unexpected Friendships!

2010-12-10T07:50:00.000-08:00

I got a gift in the mail this morning. Should have gotten it yesterday but I never got the mail out of the box because I had to go to Gary's Christmas party for work. The story is that I sold a neck cuff and a scarf on Etsy and mailed out the wrong neck cuff. I sent an apology along with a return envelope and when my gracious customer sent it back to me she included these lovely earrings by http://www.alibli.etsy.com/ . Just wanted everyone to know that the Christmas spirit is alive and well in Etsyland and Shea is the best customer! I was moved to tears by her unexpected generosity...

Nice too because tomorrow is the anniversary for my diagnosis and I'm a little freaked out by this. Trying not to dwell on it too much but to have a year already gone is, well, scary. But all I can do is keep on going. And my sister, Faith, said yes to our driving across country adventure next July...so I have long-term plans and lots of weaving ideas for this winter! Now off to vacuum and put up some Christmas decorations and get that package for Adam and Alicia ready for the mail and package up cookies for gifts! Oh yeah, and wrap the presents I've already bought for the guys...I really do love Christmas...but can I just have a cleaning service??? Would that be TOO MUCH to ask???

Tuesday Morning Routine

2010-12-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

Duke eating Dommie's hay...

Dommie after chasing Duke away from Duke's hay...

Milk house door...

Well, no new life insights this morning...just doing Gary's chores on Tuesday because he always leaves before 7 am on Tuesday...so I'm in charge of fires, feeding horses, barn kitty and birds. Nice that they are all grateful for this! So I hugged everyone except the birds and now I'm thinking about baking to stay near the woodburning stove in the kitchen! The snow is gorgeous and fluffy--like being in a snow globe. I'm feeling quite content!

Button Day with Mary Harding!!!!

2010-12-04T10:51:00.001-08:00

I had a fabulous day yesterday over at Mary Harding's studio! She is a clay artist as well as a beader (see her shop on Etsy! http://www.maryhardingjewelry.etsy.com/ She makes gorgeous pendants and toggles imprinted with wildflowers and weeds. So beautiful! She showed me how to make a mold out of this plastic stuff and when it was still soft I pushed a button into it. When I took the button out I had a mold for clay! My buttons are not ready yet because I have to sand them and then glaze them and somewhere along the line they have to be fired...maybe even twice...I'm unclear about that part and I have to go back to find out. I had a blast working with Mary!

Halfway through the day we were talking about metal and she started me stamping on copper and hammering copper. YES! Something to get my aggression out! I happily hammered all the rest of the day, flattening out copper washers and putting my kid's names on them! HA! You probably didn't know I was aggressive! Or had anger issues! Just ask Gary! Mean, too, sometimes! So here is a skill I can use to get all that stuff out! We made a list of tools I would need to do this at home and I'm giving it to my Santa.

Mary, what can I say? It was a wonderful day! Oh, did I mention that she fed us egg rolls? Yummmm....

(Mary on the left--me on the right!)

The view outside her studio barn

The purple stuff is the plastic mold

The clay buttons when they were drying

My favorite button!

The detail was really amazing!

And finally the copper! I can't wait to get tools!!!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Things I'm Thankful for...

2010-11-23T16:27:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for my Life

Family--my Mom still calls me and mostly makes sense at almost 90, my husband supports my weaving career even when it isn't making any money, 3 amazing sons and one wonderful daughter-in-law (YAY)--even from Hawaii, Adam calls usually once a week just to chat, Alex lives at home and always manages to make me laugh, Noah is home for Thanksgiving from his first year at college and I love his energy, his willingness to tackle anything--like pies today! My 4 Sisters--Maureen who always checks in with me by phone, Faith who might drive cross country with me on an adventure--more later! Eileen my nurse who also checks in and Meg the youngest female and my facebook buddy. And my three brothers, Paul--guitar playing, singing, older brother, Kevin just a little bit younger than me and handicapped from a birthing accident, and Stephen, youngest and wonderful.

Music--when I need to be transported--when I even need to cry. And harmonizing with Faith, Meg, Paul and Gary during our joint vacation is simply and always a moving experience.

Friends--I've seen friends from my childhood during this year--now women and somehow still the same girls I knew. I have been touched by friends and acquaintances during my illness who have called, sent cards, made dinners, and just came and sat with me. I even have a friend who helps me weave when I get too far behind!

Dommie--my 19 yo healing horse...This week at my trainers (Nancey) he has worked harder than I thought he could--oh and I have also! And for the past several months just softly riding in the fields and woods has done more for me than medicine and doctors. He has plenty of energy but a sweet disposition, lovely manners, nuzzles your hand, your hair, nickers when you come in the barn. sigh.

My weaving--my weaving brings me sanity and a chance to create and a sense of accomplishment, which I need to be whole. Picture is what passes for my living room--hahahaha

A Clear CAT Scan--what can I say about this! The best gift of all...

Last December after my diagnosis of pancreatic cancer I met with my surgeon at Memorial Sloan Kettering and he was measuring my life in months...After the surgery he gave a prognosis of 2 years. I am happy to wake up every morning and determined to live more fully. Determined to be more open, determined to let courage trump my fears (though not quite ready to fly yet).

I am making long-term plans. One plan is to drive cross-country to visit my friend Linda on Whitby Island, WA. I have asked my sister, Faith, to go with me and she is considering it! We will be going on the cheap--staying in State parks when possible, buying food in grocery stores. Sooooo something BIG to look forward to!

Happy Thanksgiving All!

New Towels

2010-11-18T17:35:00.001-08:00

Designing my towels on the warping mill.

Winding my warp

The first striped towel

And a plaid towel

Now only 14 more to go...I need to hire someone to weave because I have so many ideas in my head and not enough time in my day.

Enjoy the weekend!

xo

Fabulous Weekend!!

2010-11-15T06:36:00.000-08:00

The weather has been amazing here--in the high 50s during the day and I have been riding, riding, riding! Dommie is full of beans since I've been working him and a little feisty out in the field because he wants to RUN! I keep reminding him that I'm an old lady...Next Friday we are off to my trainer's barn with the two horses for a week of lessons! I have a friend who will ride Duke. I can't wait. I'm so excited. We did this last November but I was ill and didn't realize how sick I really was! But this November I have some energy so it should be wonderful to really work! And in her indoor arena Dommie settles down...I was riding the other day with another friend and she looked at me and asked me why I carried a crop...ha ha ha...She told me she didn't think I needed it for speed! Actually I just need it to move his butt over occasionally...Now if only I could get him skinny enough for my dressage saddle...I can see from the pictures that my legs are too far forward...hmmm, lots of things to work on next week!

I've got my student coming this morning so I'm off to put on another towel warp and thread the warp I've got on for scarves!

Our 22nd wedding anniversary! Out to dinner, bottle of wine, home to a movie...ahhhh...

Here's to a great week!!

Happy Towels are Done!!

2010-11-12T12:35:00.001-08:00

The towels are still attached to the loom and my house is not long enough to stretch out the material without doubling it back!

Hemmed, pressed and folded towels

Yay! Finished my towels--turns out there was enough warp for 16 of them so it's a good thing I like 'em! Happy crayon colors! Even though I really copied the colors from napkins in the Yarn Barn catalog I am pleased with them. I don't usually do that but the colors just called to me. I needed something bright and cheerful to work on. And today is our wedding anniversary--22 years! YAY! Gary woke up this morning and said "Well, 22 years of wedded bliss!" I said, "Wedded BLISS???" He said, "Well, hmmm, we made it 22 years and alot of it was good!?" Oh yeah, gotta love him! AND he is really my rock--I think he is the nicest guy in the world...I, however, am not always so nice. Oh well, I'm working on it!

New Towels and Counting Problems!

2010-11-02T11:51:00.000-07:00

I recently received a new catalog in the mail from the Yarn Barn in Kansas and saw a wonderful towel kit advertised. I loved the color mix and since I have tons of cones of cotton I knew I could make this one without the kit using a broken twill threading...

Somewhere along the line my brain stopped counting threads. What was supposed to be 4 equal colored 4" stripes with smaller inch stripes between them turned out to be 3 equal stripes and one not so equal...hmmm...chemo brain still with me?? or is it just that I haven't woven towels in a while preferring to design scarves?? Well, I have 12 towels to weave off and can't really fix that red/pink stripe. I know, that orange stripe looks skinny too but is 4" really! Sooooo I guess I will be using these towels for gifts and hope that the recipients like them anyway! I still like the colors and the texture is fabulous even though I haven't taken any off the loom and washed them yet. And, hey, we all make mistakes, right??

xo Cait

Old Friends and New Friends

2010-09-27T06:53:00.001-07:00

This summer I had a visit from a high school friend who I hadn't seen since we graduated in 1967. Here's Maggi looking exactly as she did then! We have been friends since we were in 5th grade and I have tons of great memories of our high school days together. She and her husband came on their boat from Michigan and stopped in Ogdensburg on the St. Lawrence and I drove up and snagged her for a whole day! Sometimes having had a terrible disease can give you a gift you wouldn't have had otherwise...

Ahhhh, Linda! We were juniors in Greenwich HS together and inseparable! Then she moved to Danbury and we continued to see each other into our late 20s. But now she lives on Whidbey Island off the coast of Washington state...and we only have our Christmas letters once a year. However, this year she was attending a family reunion on the Cape so she flew out to Syracuse, rented a car and drove three hours up to see me. Amazing. AND Linda is a weaver (see the tunic I'm wearing???? a gift from her!). We spent two days weaving triangles and shopping for yarn and talking and talking--some wine and tears! It was so hard to let her go. But such a gift of reconnecting!

Then I taught a triangle class in my kitchen. And met these wonderful ladies from Fishers Landing (1 1/2 hrs away!) They spent the day weaving and listening to music and I loved every minute of it! What a treat! From left to right, Pam, Anna, Joan, and Ronnie! So new friends and old friends and a life so worth living!

xo Cait

Another Good-bye...

2010-09-09T05:46:00.001-07:00

Saying good-bye to Noah...sigh...he has been with me all year but I know I can't keep him. Here we are at Skidmore College dropping him off after the wedding. So I said goodbye to my oldest and youngest all in one day. Geez...it's a good thing Alex moved back home for the year so he could afford to go to Clarkson Univ. which is right in town. Alex has never been the only one home because he is the middle child so it's going to be interesting. I guess I'm not ready for empty nest yet...

On another note I have a triangle weaving class shaping up for Sept 20 which will be fun and a friend from high school is flying into Syracuse on the 15th for a couple of days to visit and I haven't seen her in at least 30 years! So new things to look forward to!

xo Cait

The Wedding!!!!

2010-09-07T14:22:00.001-07:00

My Adam and Alicia got married on Sunday, September 5, 2010. I am so grateful to have made it this far! Of course this was the most beautiful wedding ever! The bride was radiant and the groom cried (and his mother, and her mother, and his stepfather, and his dad!). phew...very emotional. The dress had crystals all over the top and was amazingly simple and gorgeous! The tropical colors were wonderful! You can see a shawl I made over Alicia's chair during the reception. I used her colors though I didn't really see them until the wedding--just descriptions. But it worked...even had a tiny bit of lime in it!

Noah played the violin for them and we all cried again. sigh...lovely! I don't know where the time has gone...We said goodbye to all on Monday morning and took Noah to Skidmore for his first year of college. So hard to say goodbye to both Adam and Noah. And I hadn't seen Alicia since they moved to Hawaii more than 2 years ago. But now I have a daughter! YAY! And Alex has moved back home to save money while attending Clarkson U. I don't know if I am ready for empty nest!

I just finished my last chemo this morning...I think I feel good about that...sort of mixed...I'm glad to be done but feel a little scared to be on my own. I'm trying to change the host (me) with changing my diet, exercising (ok, I haven't actually started that yet), thinking different thoughts and letting go of resentment and anger, etc. (not too successful at that yet, either) so we will see and meanwhile I will cherish my life and my loved ones.

xo Cait

Sister's Day!

2010-07-19T05:54:00.001-07:00

Drove to Burlington, VT on Thursday to meet up with my sisters. They drove up from points south (Ct, MA, NH) and met me at our motel. I haven't seen 3 of them since I was very sick in January and staying at my Mom's. What a difference a couple of months make!!!! From left to right: Eileen, Meg, me, Faith, Maureen. We walked downtown and shopped, bought gifts, tried on clothes. I was going to buy a dress for Adam's wedding but Faith brought up a couple of dresses for me to try on and I fell in love with one so I'm borrowing it! We also exchange gifts at Sister's Day and that was fun! After lunch and shopping we went back to the motel and had some wine, lots of talk, ordered a pizza and talked until I fell asleep. The next morning we had breakfast at the motel, packed up, and went to lunch. I know it seems like all we do is eat but hours passed while we talked, honest! After lunch we sat in Meg's car and talked some more. Finally I said goodbye and drove off leaving all of them to drive together. I know they solved all my problems on their way home! :) I should have snagged a sister to drive with.

A snapshot when I boarded the ferry crossing Lake Champlain into NY.

A windmill farm though I was taking the picture out my window driving and you can't really get the huge scope of these from my pics!

I'm off to chemo this morning starting my 5th round! YAY! I'm bringing my knitting!

xo Cait

"Flirt" a dress scarf!

2010-07-14T07:14:00.000-07:00

Picking out threads and gathering colors for the new very pink dress scarf. Many are hand dyed by me and some are commercial knitting yarns. Yummy, yummy, yummy! I love the start of a new scarf!

Measuring the yarns and arranging order on my warping mill and a picture of the actual weaving.

YAY, finished scarf and ready to load onto Etsy for sale! Hopefully today but if not I will do it Saturday.

A closeup of the scarf.

I'm off tomorrow driving to Burlington, VT to meet my four sisters for what we call a "Sister's Day!" We try to get together at least once a year for this though it usually is not an overnight--sometimes just a brunch when I can travel to see them. Burlington is one of my favorite places and I need to shop for a dress for Adam and Alicia's (oldest son and his wonderful woman!) wedding. And sisters are wonderful for shopping! So we will meet, shop, eat, (swim?) stay overnight, shop some more and I will hug them goodbye and drive back on Friday. I haven't seen 3 of them since I was recovering at my Mom's house in January. phew...glad that is done! So I'm looking forward to being able to enjoy life with them once more!!!!!!! Sisters are the BEST!

xo Cait

Weekend at Cooperstown, NY!

2010-06-29T06:08:00.000-07:00

Gary's work conference this year was held at the Otesaga Hotel in Cooperstown, NY about 4 hours south of us. What an amazing hotel and it was the second time we had stayed there! I can't imagine a nicer place! The food was fabulous, the bed was made everytime it got a wrinkle, chocolates on the pillow, huge bathroom with freebies, a copy of the newspaper every morning at the door, lovely robes to wear, an outstanding view from the windows of the lake...sigh...coming home to dirty dishes was sort of a letdown!

The view from our windows as well as the huge porch in the back of the hotel where I sat and rocked and knitted for hours while Gary was in meetings. Sooooo relaxing... and in the afternoon in the lobby they serve tea and cookies while someone softly plays the piano in the background.

OK, here I am playing "lady of the manor" in my new hat that Gary bought me in the gift store. And behind me is the my favorite porch in the world. What's not to like!

xo Cait

Felted Hats!

2010-06-23T07:53:00.001-07:00

I've been knitting hats again--something quiet to do when I'm tired and I'm also knitting during my chemo on Mondays since it takes several hours just sitting there in the infusion room at the hospital. My Mom taught me how to knit when I was young but I really didn't like it until I grew older--now I find it very soothing as well as portable. I haven't been weaving as much as I would like but I'm trying to cut myself some slack here and heal. So knitting brings me to a good place in my head. I'm still creating and I love seeing the flat hats become 3-dimensional felted wonders when I throw them in the washing machine! I will be selling them at the Clayton Craft Fair the end of August. I find that people love trying on hats and it helps bring in people to my booth. We are hoping for a feeding (and buying) frenzy! :D

I also just heard from a friend who I knew all through grammar school and high school. She is right now sailing on the St. Lawrence and wants to see me! I'm so excited! I haven't seen her since we were 18 yo! So I think I will see her Monday! YAY! I can't wait and hopefully they can stay overnight at least and we can visit! So I'm off to clean at least the worst of the grunge in the bathrooms! And recruiting Noah to help since Alex is at work!

xo Cait

Buttons from Mary Harding!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-15T07:31:00.001-07:00

I got the mail yesterday and found these beautiful buttons from Mary Harding!!! What a lovely present! I will have to think of something very special to weave for these beauties! They are so delicate and impressed with botanicals and the color of the glaze is amazing! In my next life I want to work with clay and maybe Mary can come back as my teacher! YAY! Please check out Mary's Etsy store for more goodies at www.MaryHardingJewelry.etsy.com . Meanwhile, my Mom and sister (Maureen) and her best friend (Janet) from high school are visiting so I will take more pictures...Janet and I already went riding early this morning!

xo Cait

Soooooo Tired!

2010-06-10T17:55:00.001-07:00

Phew...I feel like I am wearing one of those lead aprons the dentist puts on you for x-rays. Last night I slept for 13 hours and today I already took a three hour nap and got up at 8:00 PM. I just finished my third round of chemo out of 6 (YAY) but it's beginning to take a toll. Hopefully I will be able to get up early tomorrow and ride Dommie and refresh my spirit! And my Mom, oldest sister, and her friend are coming to visit on Monday for a few days--that should be wonderful, too. I have a CAT scan on Monday morning! Wish me luck!
xo Cait

More Triangle Scarves

2010-06-02T07:41:00.001-07:00

I'm on a roll with greens these days! This scarf is made with everything I could find that had green in it. Some hand-dyed threads, some commercial and every fiber you can think of from silk to rayon to cotton and tencel and more! I'm very happy with it!! Hopefully I'll finish it during the next couple of days and get it photographed on Katie and loaded on Etsy by the weekend! YAY for creativity! I've also started knitting at chemo which is such a good use of the time there and since I have my port it frees up my hands and arms for making! (oh yeah, the new hat I'm knitting is green, too) :D

xo Cait

Happy Birthday, Alex!

2010-06-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my 21-yr-old, Alex!!!! And what was the first thing he did after dinner? Went to the liquor store and bought blueberry vodka! sigh... I can't believe that he is that old! Alex is moving back home for this year and maybe next year, too. He just finished his Junior year at SUNY Potsdam and is transferring to Clarkson for another two years. When he finishes that he will have both his engineering degree and a degree in physics. phew. Where in the world did he come from????? Anyway, his package at Clarkson wasn't enough for room and board soooooo looks like I'm sharing my van. AGAIN. I'm happy right now that two of my boys are back home (not that they are here very much!).

Noah LOVED Hawaii. OK what's not to like? But he came back all crazed (after talking with Adam) about my diet or lack of. So he has become the food police around here and I have to hide my mac and cheese. He has been doing research on line and he is VERY serious about it! Though I know it comes from fear and love it is a little hard to take! When is school starting??

So we are adjusting to all this maleness in the house! Thankfully Katie (model) came over for a visit and we got a couple of hours of photographing in. Will post the triangle scarf soon and I've started another! WooHoo!! Creativity is getting better. Maybe all I needed was some people around!

xo Cait

New Triangle Scarf (almost)!!

2010-05-24T14:23:00.000-07:00

Well, I started this last week with some rayon tape I bought at my favorite yarn shop in Canton, NY, Linsie Woolsie. The color is not showing up as well as I would like--it is a beautiful, fresh, light seafoam with ribbons of my hand-dyed cotton/rayon tape. I will try to finish it tomorrow and perhaps I can photograph it on Katie on the weekend and put it on Etsy to sell! All my triangle scarves that sell on Etsy have a percentage of the profit going to cancer research. A subject now dear to my heart!!

My third round of chemo started today. I'm looking forward to being done!! It makes me tired though my dr. thinks I need to talk to someone because maybe I'm tired because I'm depressed. I don't really feel depressed--but starting to second-guess myself. Hmmmmm. I am alone too much during the day though so I asked a friend from MA to come visit. That should be fun AND she will help me cook. Doesn't get better than that!

xo Cait

Noah is off to Hawaii!

2010-05-15T08:28:00.000-07:00

Finally, Noah gets to take a break from his old parents! He has been subbing at the high school whenever he can during his "gap" year and now he is off to HI to visit his big brother Adam on Kauai! And even though I do not like to fly, I am feeling envious seeing all his pictures! What an amazing landscape! No wonder I'm having a hard time talking Adam and Alicia back to the states! Well, I'm off tag-saleing with my good friend Edie (though I have been meaning to empty my house of junk instead of buying!) BUT we are only looking! Right?? And then if there is any energy left I will ride Dommie so I can feel that I've gotten some exercise!

xo Cait

P.S. I would recognize those hairy legs anywhere, Noah!

My Birthday Party!

2010-05-11T10:31:00.001-07:00

What a fabulous 61st birthday I had! It was Mother's Day and the day before chemo so I had some energy. Noah cooked the entire meal consisting of chicken tenders with scallions and maple syrup glaze, some puffs, roasted potatoes with rosemary and garlic and a big birthday cake with chocolate mint chip ice cream inside! While I still can't eat much it was delicious! My boys gave me a book filled with 61 reasons why they love me! WOW! Some were little stories and some just a line. Noah had been collecting these from the other two for some time and typed them up and got it printed locally. Needless to say there were tears over this! Adam had one of his gorgeous photographs from Hawaii printed on canvas. So now I have an ocean view from the kitchen! Alex stopped by before he had to work for a quick visit and a big hug! I am really the luckiest Mom!

I had chemo yesterday and a shot to boost my white blood count today. Not feeling great but I'm sure in a couple of days it will be better. I just finished my second round! YAY! Four more rounds to go.

xo Cait

Just saying HI!!!

2010-03-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

I am still here, recovering, getting stronger every day and very grateful for all of you and your wonderful, loving comments!!!!!!!! Last week my surgeon here put in a port for my chemo which starts in a week. Actually took 1 1/2 hours to find a vein for the IV and 3 nurses and only 45 min for the actual insertion! Figures. I'm a little freaked by this piece of plastic in my chest and the chemicals they're going to put in but the alternatives seem to be worse so...we do what we have to do. I just got my stitches out yesterday and everything looks good.

AND my model (Katie) came over a couple of days ago and put a saddle on my Dommie and one on Duke and we RODE!! It was wonderful even though we kept it at a walk (ok, I did a little trotting too). The horses were so happy to be out in the field. The sun was out and no bugs and it was a perfect day! Of course right now my legs feel like rubber and I'm a little sore but it certainly did my spirit good!! We topped off St. Patrick's Day with a potluck at my riding instructor's house (Nance) for all the horse ladies (and two horse guys!) and I got to see everyone for the first time in months! Truly a day to remember. Even though I've been exhausted since then--sooooo worth it!!!!

Next Thursday Gary and I are driving down to NYC for my first checkup since the surgery. At least this time I will be able to walk around and see some of the city so I'm looking forward to that! I'm taking pictures this time so my posts won't be so boring!!

Meanwhile, love to all of you--I can't tell you how much your comments mean to me!

xo Cait

I'm Back!

2010-03-03T07:43:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a rollercoaster the past two months have been. I am home. I'm touched by all your comments and all the healing thoughts and love coming my way! I got out of our local hospital in Potsdam two weeks ago after spending a week there for an abscess that they apparently missed during the last trip to Sloan Kettering when they were obsessing over my bowels (which are fine, thank you). I kept wondering why I was feeling poorly and had in fact been doing less and less instead of more! Finally Gary came down to my Mom's and took me home where I stayed for a couple of days, realized I had a temp again and went to the emergency room. They operated that day and finally I am feeling better though a little freaked out by the hole in my surgical scar that has to heal from the inside out. Hmmmm...amazing what you can get used to.

Food is still an issue, in that I don't want any. Living on potato, noodles, mac and cheese, an egg once in a while (though I shared my egg this morning with the dog). I do get hungry once in a while but still don't want to eat. It's so weird--nothing tastes the same. So while I like being lighter it's a little freaky to not want to eat. I'm a work in progress!!

I have not been feeling very creative lately but hopefully that will come back and I can reopen my Etsy shop. Noah says that he will help me do mailings...actually Noah has been just a wonderful help over the last two months...I'm so happy he took this year off between HS and college! He has also been driving me whereever I need to go when Gary is at work!

Soooooo. I'm resting, trying to eat, looking at looms full of scarves and material that have been sitting there since I got sick. I'm grateful for my family and friends and all the support I have gotten. I start chemo on April 1, once a week for three weeks out of four, for 6 months.

AND my Adam is marrying his Alicia on September 5th!!!!! Right now they are in Hawaii but will come back for the wedding. We are so excited and I love Alicia! YAY! So something very special to look forward to!!!

Hope everyone is healthy and happy!!!!!!!
xo

If it isn't one thing, it's another...

2010-01-24T16:35:00.001-08:00

Greetings once again!

Gary here again, in Potsdam; Cait's back at her Mom's in Keene after a brief return to MSK (Memorial Sloan Kettering) for the last few days. Time has become a blur after all this, so I'm not sure I can give you exact days on any of this.

We got to Keene on Saturday as noted in the last post. I drove back to Potsdam the next day -- somebody has to make some money to keep this all going... Cait seemed okay, but was having some pain. Over the next few days, the pain got worse, she got a temperature, the pain got real bad, AND she got a temperature, they took her to the Keene ER and called MSK for guidance. Let's get her back down here, they said. So to her dismay, Cait got another ride in an ambulance -- not as fast and wild as the last time, no snowstorm, a lot longer, and almost as uncomfortable.

IV antibiotics, a drain installed to get some fluid out, pain killers IV. Finally they recognize that her intestinal system wasn't working, she was all blocked up, and that was probably the source of the pain (Nothing like feedback loops, eh? Pain causes pain-killer drug taking which causes more pain, around and around.) So after quite a bit of unpleasantness that doesn't need to be repeated here, she's off the heavy narcotics and on some things to make her intestines work properly. And hopefully, it's more steadily uphill from here.

Lesson illustrated: this was a major surgery. The way forward will not be easy or straight. She's now missing quite a few anatomical parts and what's left doesn't work quite the way it worked before. And she's having to get used to the new body operation.

She would be writing this herself, but she's still got quite a bit of pain, more fatigue than she wants to have, and the general unpleasantness of healing after major surgery. And she did want to keep everybody posted.

She wants to thank all of you for your kind thoughts and prayers, and she asks for your patience while she gets herself back to normal at whatever pace it takes.

Regards to all!

Update

2010-01-16T06:31:00.000-08:00

Greetings once again! (This will be our last post from NYC. Yayyy!!!!)

Whew! What a whirlwind! Sorry for the time in between posts: all of this is quite tiring and distracting...

Short summary: Cait is recovering well, with some bumps along the way. To be expected, I expect... The pathology report came back clean of any cancer, either in the margins or in the lymph nodes. So at least for the present she is cancer free. She'll be doing chemo starting in a month or so to make sure she stays that way.

This is Saturday AM. We're packing up to drive to Keene, NH, where Cait will be resting up for a week or two at her Mom's.

Wednesday, we sprang her from Sloan-Kettering and have been caring for her since at Miracle House. She's eating solid food, although not a lot. Now that the nurses aren't poking her every few hours for blood (do they really keep vampires in the cellar? or does it just seem that way?...?), now that the IV beepers have stopped beeping, now that her roommate's visitors aren't talking loudly on their cellphones -- the ones with the loud obnoxious ringtones, etc, etc, now that she has a quiet room and a comfortable bed, she's getting a more or less full night's sleep. (Can you tell from this description that Cait does not enjoy life in the hospital?)

She had her staples taken out yesterday (fascinating technology -- both the staples and the staple remover). The incision is well healed and healthy.

She's been feeling "like crap" (in her own words). We've been doing our best to keep her comfortable. And she's doing better and better. She's walked several city blocks (north to south, the short ones...) and is sleeping better and better.

In short, a successful operation (not to in any way suggest that this is fun or pleasant....) and the beginning of a successful recovery.

Thank you all for your kind comments, thoughts, prayers, etc.

We'll keep you posted.

Gary for Cait

/The News from Memorial Sloan-Kettering

2010-01-06T17:45:00.000-08:00

Greetings from the Big Apple (is it still called that? Am I dating myself here? Again, this is Gary, Cait's husband, filling in for her during her indisposition.)

The operation was successful!! (sounds of cheering in the background) We are all relieved -- she came through it with flying colors. The tumor was very small and showed no indication of having spread to lymph nodes (final news on that in a week when the pathology report comes back). It all seemed almost boring, just business as usual to the surgeon, nothing new -- AND THIS IS WHY WE CAME HERE -- these guys do the Whipple about once a day!!! (Another note for anyone contemplating or being compelled into very complex and serious surgical procedures: the research is unequivocal -- find a hospital where they have A TEAM that does THAT PROCEDURE more than most or even anybody and you'll get the best results. You want your procedure to be boring to the surgical team; you want them to be skilled and practiced AS A TEAM; you DO NOT want them to be having to be checking a procedure manual to make sure they're following the steps in the right order.)

Thank you to everyone who offered kind thoughts, prayers, or whatever mental or spiritual practice you follow. We gladly accept help from any quarter and we truly appreciate the help and kind words and thoughts that people have extended our way.

Another note: for anyone considering getting treatment for any serious disease in NYC -- check out Miracle House. (www.miraclehouse.org). You get to stay in a real NY apartment house on 43rd and 11th Ave, just around the block from the 42nd St bus stop; at a rent of $50/night for a room in an apartment. Wonderful people! Breakfast at a local diner is included. Also dinner 3 nights per week. And when the gym and pool aren't being renovated (like now...) an olympic pool and workout gym!! Other than this, you get to surf Craig's list to find rooms to rent in Brooklyn or wherever...

More later as Cait recovers.

Gary

News from Fletcher-Allen in Burlington, VT

2010-01-02T08:45:00.000-08:00

Greetings! (This is from Gary, Cait's husband)

Cait is feeling some better.

She was moved over here to Fletcher-Allen yesterday (Friday, 1 Jan 2010 -- what a great way to start a new year...???) by ambulance (note to those who might have to be subjected to this in the future: be forewarned: she reports this is a nauseating way to travel, not the least bit enjoyable). I drove over separately at 45 mph through the light, slippery snowstorm - also not enjoyable.

We both got here about 9-10 last night. I got to sleep on the floor in her room on a rollaway mattress; marvelous accommodations at the price and comforting to Cait to have me right there.

Her numbers are improving; elevated liver and pancreas enzymes. She had a very painful pancreatitis attack at home and we took her to the ER in Potsdam; they admitted her and gave her dilaudet (sp? one notch up from morphine) which stopped the pain but gave her nausea and a headache. When she got a fever ( 101-102), the Potsdam doctor decided to ship her over here to review the stent they put into her bile duct over here. As I said above, she's been getting better without another procedure, and they're now thinking she may be better enough to release to my care tomorrow (Sunday) so we can get her down to NYC on Monday for her pre-op tests at Sloan-Kettering on Tuesday AM. Let's all keep our fingers crossed.

The final decision for the schedule will be Sloan-Kettering's - do the Whipple on Wednesday? or delay?

As they say in church: ora pro nobis.

More later...

Family Time

2009-12-29T12:15:00.001-08:00

Noah and Alex putting on the lights for me!!!

We have to have the stocking picture!

And an embarrased Santa kitty!

Christmas morning!!!

We had such a lovely Christmas with two of my three sons!! We also had Christmas dinner with nearby friends and made music, sang, drummed, fiddled and danced! Noah and another guest, both violinists, played a waltz duet by Jay Unger which Gary and I danced to at our wedding 21 years ago and we danced to it again that night! It was a wonderful time! We have been enjoying our week of reprieve here while I am recovered from the liver problems and feeling so much better and before my surgery.

I hope everyone has a healthy and happy New Year filled with joy and laughter!!!

Update

2009-12-22T16:35:00.001-08:00

Hi All! First of all I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!!! I have throughly enjoyed meeting and interacting with the people who read and respond to my blog! This was a new venture for me and while I thought it was going to be about weaving, it has turned out to be so much more. I have gained a lot of support from all of you and I just want you to know how much you matter to me!!!!!!!

I am traveling to Sloan Kettering in NYC on January 4 and spending the 5th (my Noah's 19th birthday) enduring tests at the hospital. On the 6th I will have the Whipple procedure and we hope to stop this cancer from spreading. Right now the cancer is confined to the pancreas and has not affected any lymph nodes or invaded any other organ as far as they can tell. So I'm hopeful and determined. Hopefully we can afford to take my sons down for the time I will be in the hospital and they will get to see some of the city with all the Christmas decorations and window shop and visit with me as I get stronger. I will be in the hospital they say for at least 7 days and then we are travelling to Keene, NH to drop me at my Mom's. I have sisters nearby who will help and I will probably stay there a week or so just resting.

I hope to use my sister Meg's laptop to keep my blog updated for any who are interested!! And I will be closing my Etsy store for the duration.

Thank you all for your caring comments and all that healthy energy and healing coming my way! It means the world to me!!
xo

More Surgery

2009-12-15T17:35:00.001-08:00

Hi All! And many thanks for all your wonderful and warm comments. We had one successful surgery to fix the valve on my liver to my pancreas and the itching has improved a lot and I'm eating a little more and sleeping a lot better. The bad news is the reason the valve collapsed is a cancerous tumor on my pancreas. Right now they have staged it at a 1 with no other involvement though they warn us that they can't know until they are really in there--not just with a scope. So we are looking into Sloan Kettering in NYC for what is called the Whipple procedure but nothing has been scheduled yet. My Adam is looking into flights from Hawaii but we do not have a date yet. I'm taking my boys with me to the city when we go and I think there is a network of people in Manhattan who put people up connected with the Cancer Society. So on to the next adventure of life here in the North Country!!

xo

Surgery

2009-12-09T16:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I haven't been able to post very much for the past month or so because I have been ill. It seems that my liver is leaking bile into my body because the valve leading to the gallbladder is full of "sludge" (technical term). So after more than a month of intense itching and nauseousness I have surgery in Vermont Friday afternoon to put in a stent I guess to widen the valve so it can be flushed out. Phew. Finally. And Gary is bringing me and one of my wonderful sisters is an RN and will meet us in Burlington, VT and stay with us throughout the surgery and after. This is done on an outpatient basis so we will get a motel room and spend the night before driving the three hours back to Potsdam. All I can say is it can't come soon enough.

xo Cait

Studio Tour!!

2009-11-30T13:45:00.001-08:00

This is rather a late post about the studio tour but I have been feeling unwell for the past three weeks and have really fallen behind updating my blog!! My friend Edie (on left) and I went to visit Mary Harding who lives nearby to see what her studio was like. Mary makes the most amazing jewelry with clay pressed with botanicals, fused glass, intricate beading. She lives on a beautiful river and shares her studio with her charming husband. Mary let everyone play with the little pieces of glass and make a pendant which she fired after the tour and mailed out to everyone!!! We had so much fun we only made it to one other studio! :) Mary also has a beautiful blog http://www.maryhardingjewelrybeadblog.blogspot.com and sells her wonders on Etsy at http://www.maryhardingjewelry.etsy.com Please check it out!!

I'll post a picture of my pendant tomorrow when the sun is out!!

Weaving Outside!!

2009-11-19T14:36:00.001-08:00

Sunshine and Shimmer III scarves on a 22" floor loom

A triangle scarf in the making!

Oh dear you can see the dead pumpkins behind the loom!

Almost finished!

Today was just an amazing day!!! I woke up and everything was frosty and sun kissed. After a wonderful riding lesson on Dommie, I came in to weave but I felt like I was working in a cave and it was just too nice out sooooo I moved one 22" floor loom and my triangle loom out to the porch. I banged in some nails to hang the triangle and alternated my weaving the rest of the day... How often is November like this! Tomorrow I will try to get Katie (model) over to photograph the triangle scarf on her and the Sunshine and Shimmer III scarves are also ready to be photographed. Ahhhhh, feels like such an accomplishment! Now I have some wonderful green chenille warp to put on! And there is chili in the oven just waiting--it doesn't get better than this!!!

xoxo!!

Horses in My Life

2009-11-16T10:33:00.001-08:00

I grew up in the suburbs of southern Connecticut and my Dad was the woodworking teacher at our high school. My Mom stayed home with the 8 of us and having a horse was just out of the question. I never gave up. I used to ride any horse that would stand still long enough for me to get on. A bunch of us used to ride our bikes miles and miles just to look at a horse. To say I was in love would have been an understatement. Eventually, I put away my dream, had a job, married, had my first son, divorced and finally in my late 30s I met Gary. And our dreams meshed. We had two more sons, he wanted a farm and I got my first horse.

Then I found out that the reality didn't quite match my dreams! I took lessons but I was scared. Scared? How could that be! What happened to Annie Oakley? But I learned how to take care of a horse, pick up their feet, groom them. I went to natural horsemanship clinics and watched completely enthralled and came back and tried it at home. I continued lessons in dressage and though I still sometimes have reluctance riding alone I usually manage to push though. Dommie is my 3rd horse, and I've had him for 7 years. He and I are still learning and though he likes trail riding better than working in the ring, I'm a firmer and more confident rider and he respects that. Duke is a buddy horse and so calm anyone can ride him!

So we are still working on dreams and adventures and sometimes 60 doesn't seem as old as I thought it would be!

Happy Monday! xo

My Model Weaving for the First Time!!

2009-11-14T14:12:00.000-08:00

Here is my wonderful model, Katie, weaving for the first time!! I put on some black rayon chenille with subtle streaks of blue, fuchia, and purple for four scarves and helped her get the hang of the weaving!! She did beautifully--not one broken thread!!! -- and I think her mother will be very happy this Christmas! Katie has been so helpful to me, coming over when I need her, riding Duke when I ask her, and all for free!! I can't thank her enough for helping to make my first year on Etsy a success!!! It's too bad you can't feel this scarf because it is soooooo soft and black is sooooo hard to photograph!! :)

Have a wonderful weekend! xo

Quietness and my Chocolate Mocha Chenille Scarf

2009-11-09T13:27:00.000-08:00

Well, for some reason I'm all subdued lately--Sometimes I am too close to all those colors and I have to go to a quiet place to refresh my spirit. This weekend Gary and I worked outside--I brushhogged with my walk behind DR some horse paths in my field and a path leading out to the field. We now have a tractor boarding in our barn which we can use! YAY! So we are making more paths through the woods and getting firewood at the same time. This morning I rode with my friend Anne and we checked out the new paths! It was around 60 degrees out!!! Feel much better when I ride in the morning!

My paths in the field bordering on our woods...

Path down from the barn going over to the field...

In our woods we have a pond--and the woods are full of crunchy leaves--love the sound of the horses walking through the fallen leaves! And the pond is a lovely, serene place to think!!

And so my palette for today is chocolate!! Finished one scarf and I have washed it. Now just waiting for it to dry then I will toss it in the dryer to soften and see what it really looks like!!

Ahhhhh, I needed some quiet...

Happy Monday! xo